


Too Lost

by DistractedDream



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! Series
Genre: Demonic Possession, Gen, Ghosts, Haunting, Insanity, Memory Loss, Possession, Spirits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 02:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8311132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DistractedDream/pseuds/DistractedDream
Summary: When Ryou Bakura starts suffering debilitating headaches, he doesn't think much of it. When he begins missing chunks of time in conjunction with his pain, well that's another matter.A mini fic inspired by the Halloween season.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who my fave beta-reader is? Yep! SerenityXStar! Thank you, honey!
> 
> Title from "Am I Going Crazy?" by Korn.
> 
> I can be found on Twitter @DistracteDream and on Tumblr @DistractedDream. Please leave kudos or comments if you liked this! I appreciate every single one.

Ryou awoke in his bed, still dressed in his jeans and tee, rubbing his temples from another low grade headache. He didn't remember going to bed the night before but if his current state was any indication, he hadn't meant to fall asleep. His tongue glided over his teeth and he grimaced at the unclean texture. It was so unlike him, to not change out of his day clothes, to not brush his teeth. He forced himself upright, wincing at the throbbing of his head and the roll of his stomach at the motion. Had he had dinner last night? He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember anything after his classes yesterday when he'd felt the headache start.  
  
His brown eyes cut over to the clock, groaning at the time. He would be late for school if he didn't get up right then. He struggled to his feet, the clothes almost as stiff as his muscles, and he peeled them off with a look of disgust, depositing them in the hamper before stumbling to the bathroom. The headache slowly faded as the movement woke him up more, stomach grumbling even as he relieved himself. That was probably what caused the headache. His body was obviously protesting that he hadn't eaten. He moved to the sink to wash his hands, frowning at his reflection.

His skin was sallow and dirty. His white hair stuck up at different angles, exceedingly messy even for having just woken up. Deep dark circles colored the skin under his eyes. A bruise he didn't remember decorated his shoulder. He looked like he had been on a bender. He rather felt like it too. Nothing to be done for it, he quickly brushed his teeth and hopped in the shower. The hot water turned his skin pink, the heat loosening his muscles. He washed his hair, trying to think of what he'd done last night. He had planned to stop by the game shop and then come home to complete his school work. He simply couldn't remember if he'd ever made it to the game shop. Obviously he'd made it home since he hadn't been wearing his uniform, but he couldn't remember changing after school.

Shutting off the water, Ryou dried off, wrapping his hair in a towel and pulling on his robe. He'd have to eat in a hurry so he wasn't late, padding to the kitchen and absently flicking on the TV as he went by. He normally left the TV on the news or the gaming channel, but the sound of cartoons greeted him instead. He clicked back to the news station, chalking the switch up to an accident when he'd last had it on. He was pouring himself a bowl of cereal when the commercial ended and the news anchor came on.

"It's going to be a beautiful day in Domino City so I hope your Saturday plans involve being outside," the anchor chirped. Ryou dropped the box of cereal, brows creased as he walked back to the living room. Saturday? No, it was Thursday. Yesterday was Wednesday, so today was Thursday. What was the anchor talking about? Where was his phone? He found it between the sofa cushions, battery almost dead.

_9 new messages._

_7 missed calls._

_30 unread emails._

Ryou pulled up the screen to check the date and dropped the phone. Saturday. It was Saturday. He had lost two days. Feeling sick to his stomach, he grabbed the phone again, scrolling through the texts. Several from Yugi, a couple from Tea, even one from Joey. All wondering if he was sick, where was he, why wasn't he answering. Yugi said he had stopped by and worried when there was no answer. Ryou folded down onto the sofa, staring at the device. His emails were much the same, notices that he was absent from school, updates on the coursework, his friends trying to reach him via email when he didn't reply to their texts.

Had he gotten sick and not realized it? Had he slept for two days? No, that wasn't possible. At some point he would have woken up and changed or had to pee or needed food and... A dull pain shot across his forehead, making him groan. What was happening to him? Why couldn't he remember?

The headaches had started shortly after moving to Domino City. At first, he figured they were the result of the stress. He took better care of himself, eating regularly, staying hydrated, going outside more. Yet the pain kept getting worse until he could only lay in bed. He knew he must have even dozed off several times as he would come to hours later. He hadn't been concerned when he'd awoken in a different place from where he'd laid down. Certainly he had just stumbled from one spot to another, looking for the most comfortable spot. Medicines didn't seem to help, only making him vomit before he would pass out from the pain.

He stared at his phone as it buzzed with another message. Yugi again, wondering if he could come by. He'd been so happy to finally be accepted into Yugi's clique and here they probably thought he was avoiding them. He punched out a quick reply and went in search of his charger. What would he tell them? What had he been doing for two days?

 

* * *

It happened again almost a week later. He knew as soon as he awoke, his jeans and sweater plastered to his skin, the edges of a headache clinging to him. Ryou rolled over to grab his phone, relieved that there were no unanswered messages. Maybe he hadn't been out as long again. He tapped the screen open, reading his last texts. There were... There were texts he didn't remember sending. Mostly to Yugi. One to Joey, telling him to sod off. One to Tea, telling her... His face heated. He would never say that, especially not to her. And he wouldn't act like that to Joey even if he was annoying at times. He opened the messages with Yugi. A request to duel him. Taunts, antagonizing the other boy to play against him. Ryou wouldn't have done that. He scrolled down. The duel was supposed to have happened last night, but Ryou didn't remember anything. With shaking fingers, he called Yugi.

"Bakura! Bakura, I'm so happy you called. Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes I think so." Ryou hesitated. "Ah, I'm sorry if I missed our duel. I didn't remember scheduling it."

Yugi didn't answer him for a moment. "No, we dueled last night. You were really upset when you lost. I thought you didn't want to be friends anymore after what you said."

Pain flashed across Ryou's head. "N-no, I'm sorry. I haven't... I haven't been feeling well lately. I didn't mean it." Whatever it was. His mind was completely blank.

"It's okay. You just got really into the game for some reason." He paused, clearly waiting for Ryou to comment or explain. When none came, Yugi filled the silence. "Ah, we were all gonna go see a movie tonight. Wanna come with?"

"Tonight?" Ryou rubbed his forehead. "Sure. Sure, it would be good to get out. Again." He frowned, last night another gaping hole in his memories.

"Awesome! We're meeting at the game shop at 8. Oh, and Ryou? Bring flowers for Tea. I don't know what you said to her, but she's pissed at you. See you later!"

"Bye, Yugi." Ryou dropped the phone onto the bed, head spinning.

 

* * *

He started tracking his days and his headaches. He was constantly struggling to keep up with his school work, constantly making excuses for missing classes, for disappearing on his friends. He found things he didn't remember buying in his flat, pictures with his friends turned face down. He shuffled through his deck one night, completely confused at the new cards, dismayed that others, like his Change of Heart, were missing entirely.

Ryou was losing hours, days, never a set pattern, nothing seeming to trigger the headaches and lost time. His friends were starting to say he was different, withdrawn except for moments of cruelty. He wanted to scream. It wasn't him. It wasn't like him. He couldn't say and do the things they were saying. He wouldn't.

He leaned heavily on the bathroom sink, studying his reflection. He felt the beginning of another headache coming on. He debated handcuffing himself to the bed, debated throwing his phone away. Anything to control whatever was happening during his headaches. He frowned at the mirror, head throbbing in pain.

His reflection smirked at him.

Ryou started, flinging himself back away from the mirror. His foot slipped on the rug, hitting his head on the wall as he fell, the contact and his headache combining in a searing flash of pain that made him black out.

 

* * *

He was tired. His head hurt, again, but he was almost used to that now. He had no idea what day it was and didn't quite care. He had gotten a medical exemption from school though multiple tests and scans had shown nothing wrong with his brain. Therapy wasn't helping. Tea wouldn't speak to him anymore. Joey would, but only to tell him off. Yugi was the only friend who still tried to stay in contact with him.

Ryou couldn't get that smirk out of his mind. That wasn't him. He had been frowning. Yet his reflection's mouth had clearly ticked up, as though it knew something he didn't. He started catching movement out of the corner of his eye, hearing whispering, but he hadn't seen his mirror-image move independently again. The missing chunks of time were getting longer and his body felt like he'd fought an army each time he came to. He started leaving notes to himself, reminders of what day it was, what he had been doing.

Then one day he found a note on his table he didn't remember writing in a script that looked like his but not.

_Stop fighting me, host._

This was a prank. He'd watched a horror film and his subconscious had taken it too far and he'd written a note to himself while he was out of it and that's why the handwriting was weird and that didn't explain why he called himself "host". Ryou had sat curled up on the sofa, staring at the note for several hours, not noticing the warning signs as another headache knocked him out.

 

* * *

His hands ached and he felt lightheaded as he awoke. It wasn't even dawn when he pried his eyes open this time, his flat dark. He groaned, wobbling as he got to his feet to flick the light switch.

_STOP FIGHTING ME HOST_

_STOP FIGHTING ME_

_STOP FIGHTING HOST_

_FIGHTING_

_STOP_

_STOP FIGHTING_

_STOP HOST_

_HOST_

_HOST_

_HOST_

_HOST_

Ryou couldn't breathe. His walls were covered in angry words, some in red, some black. His vision dimmed, sight tunneling, pinpointing on _HOST_ , before he slunk to the floor unconscious.

 

* * *

Ryou was cold when he regained consciousness, eyes opening to the dark again. This dark felt different than moments ago, as though there were degrees of shadows and this one was somehow darker than before. He brought his hand to his temples, so used to awaking with a headache that he had already started massaging his head before realizing he didn't hurt this time. He pushed himself to his feet, reaching out for the wall and stumbling when there was nothing there. He stepped forward, hands outstretched, shaking when he didn't encounter anything. His heart stuck in his throat. Had he... Was he dead? Was this death? A small distressed noise choked him, tears filling his eyes. No, if he were dead... Amane, Mum, they'd be there and there was no one, this was nothing, but then where...? A tear slipped down his face, jerking as a disdainful chuckle filled the space.

"So fucking weak."  
  
Ryou whipped around at the voice. Through his tears, he could make out a figure approaching, seemingly backlit by distant flame. He rubbed at his eyes. "Who... who are you? Where are we?"

The shadows around the other faded until Ryou could see a man of similar height, hair spiked out around his head. "Don't you recognize it? It's your soul room after all." The voice was deeper than Ryou's, unconcerned with the darkness, sending a shiver up his spine. Ryou didn't miss how he didn't answer the first question.

"Soul room? I don't... I don't know what that is. I was in my living room and..." The graffiti on his walls came rushing back into his mind's eye. "Someone had broken into my flat."

The other laughed cruelly. "So certain about that, are we? Or is that another lie you comfort yourself with?" He snickered as Ryou flinched. "Oh yes, I know all about your troubles, host." He hissed the last word, Ryou's eyes going wide as he backed away. "I know how you're failing your classes. I know your friends want nothing to do with you. I know you can't account for hours, days at a time. And I know what you do during that time."

Ryou threw his hands up, trembling with cold and fear and more than a little anger. "Who are you?!"

The darkness lifted in a lightning quick flash, revealing the figure standing before him. Ryou screamed as his mirror-image grinned evilly at him. "I'm you, host."

His manic cackling joined Ryou's terrified screams as the space plunged into blackness again.

 

* * *

It would be years before Ryou was aware of his surroundings again. It would be even longer before he trusted that the shadows wouldn't take him again. He still sleeps with the lights on, still leaves notes for himself, but the headaches never come back, the spirit who possessed him banished. He finds comfort where he can, in work, school, and new friends.

But every so often, he catches himself smirking in the mirror, eyes cold.

Once a host...


End file.
